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Posts Tagged ‘Write like you talk’
Today I’m starring on the popular Problogger. Check it out.
It’s often said that effective writers must be avid readers. Not necessarily. Although most professional writers love to read, anyone who wants to build relationships through written words needs to soak up and analyze other media and live conversations too.
So don’t worry about feigning a passion for what you think you’re supposed to read. Read what you enjoy. Reverse engineer the media that works for you. Then, understand the form of expression that’s loved by the kind of person you most want to connect with.
For example, if you’re an accountant, don’t limit yourself toThe Wall Street Journal. Immerse yourself in what’s loved by the people you want to get to know better – maybe hockey, opera, artisanal cheese magazines, video games or pet videos.
Hipsters may cajole you into feasting on the flavor of the week, such as Google+. If the object of your affection is lapping it up, this makes sense. But you may find the person you are courting is scarfing down some other slice of our increasingly niched media world.
You can’t savor every media and interest. But you can devour what appeals to you and the person you’re writing for. Instead of passively absorbing, you can take the time to discover why it tastes so good.
When a song gets stuck in your head, think about how that happened. When you notice that all the cop shows open with a murder, consider how that might appy to your communication. When a sound bite from a politician’s speech flies around the world, ask yourself what made that happen. When a commercial persuaded you to buy something new, ponder how it succeeded.
It all starts with conversation.
On top of the specific media preferred by the person you want to connect with, think about how you would strike up a conversation if you spotted them at a party. Think about the conversations that prompted you to make new friends, lived on in your memory or opened your mind to something new.
Talking is our first and favorite way to communicate. That’s why what works in live conversation influences all other media. We are drawn in by believable movie characters, not by actors reading a script.
Two people talking is the original social media. Everything else is but a pale comparison.
By all means, read to improve your writing. But also think about the media and conversations that would turn on the reader of your dreams.
Even though it’s still summer, 
I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve, waiting for Santa to come down the chimney. I’m almost finished my rewrite of Write like you talk–only better and bursting with excitement.
But first, I need to take a break and see what others think. I’m way past being objective.
I know how valuable feedback is. After I launched it as an ebook a year ago, I listened to what readers had to say. I gave presentations and taught workshops based on my philosophy of combining the sociability of talking with the thinking of writing. I thought. I read. I rewrote the book.
Bigger and better, the new edition responds to requests for more examples, new explanations and other feedback. In the new chapter called Reach the Next Level, you’ll learn how to tell stories and apply other techniques from movies, music and other media.
Based on talking, almost everyone’s first and favorite way to communicate, the book will guide you through thinking about who you want to connect with and what you want to say, writing like you talk and making it better.
You’ll learn how to bond with the kind of person most important to you, attract like-minded people and build community.
You’ll write better than you talk by following a road map that will inject speed and prevent writer’s block. You’ll find out which five grammar rules still matter and how to avoid the flubs that make you look bad. You’ll write tight. You’ll help your readers remember you.
To get ready to sell on Amazon and for e-readers, I’m offering free preview copies to my blog readers. I’ll be asking for recommendations on how to make the book work better for you and reviews. No obligation.
So send me your e-mail and I’ll send your copy in the next week or so, as soon as my editor has finished a quick once-through.
Be the first on your block to write like you talk. Write betta, they’ll get ya.
Do you see reindeer in the sky?
Thanks to Esapekka for the photo.
Don’t you hate it when you realize you don’t follow your own advice? Don’t you get frustrated when you figure out what looked good yesterday is actually crap?
That happened to me this week after I’d written a story about myself, always the trickiest subject, guided by an earlier post on storyteling.
Then a friend sent me a story she’d drafted about having her best bike stolen, which she asked me edit. Like most people, she started her story with too much setting, or background.
I revised to start the true tale with the conflict, realizing her bike had been stolen. I noted what a nightmare this would be for any cyclist, the readers her story was intended for.
Then I added details that would vilify the thief and clarify the clues the heroes would follow to crack the case.
I was feeling pretty good about what I’d done, until I re-read my own story. I had not led with the conflict, I had not immediately set up readers to identify with my feelings. I had included details not needed to further the plot, develop character or make my point.
Because I intend to use the story as the first chapter of the next edition of Write like you talk–only better, I need to make the story less about me and more about my reader and why they should read the book, the point of my story. Back to the drawing board.
As a writer, you get used to that. Just don’t let me read any of those silly bloggers who insist you shouldn’t spend too much time on a post. They are idiots–or far more gifted than me or anyone good I know.
Here goes:
Have you ever looked in the mirror and said to yourself: “I can be more than this.”?
That happened to me when I turned 50. Sure, I had reached some of my life objectives, such as amazing kids, a nice house and loyal clients.
But there was more I wanted to do, more I wanted to become. And I only had 50 more years to do it.
It wasn’t about crossing exotic destinations off my bucket list. It was about seeing what I am uniquely capable of accomplishing.
I couldn’t use my kids as an excuse any more. Nor could I blame my stagnation on my parents’ low expectations, my ex-husband’s betrayal, my addictions, sloth, the economy, stupid people or anything else.
It was up to me.
I wanted to help people, but not by holding cold cloths on hot foreheads in refugee camps or mapping seating plans for charity galas.
No, I wanted to help all the poor people who were chained to their computers, cranking out emails, reports, dating profiles and other written communication. What’s more, I wanted to help all the people stuck reading this stuff.
It wasn’t their fault they went on too long, made embarrassing mistakes or were just plain boring.
Many had not been warned about how much of their day would be spent tapping on keyboards. They had not received the memo predicting that suits would be replaced by business casual or formal style by conversational writing.
And some of the digital kids hadn’t been taught how planning and structure could sharpen their spontaneous chatting, texting and other writing.
My quest to fulfill my potential and help other people pulls together what I’ve learned in these past 50-plus years about writing, grammar, talking, socializing, performing and thinking.
It all started in grade three, the day I first drew lines under some words and brackets around others. I understood the mechanics of language intuitively, as if I possessed mysterious knowledge passed on from the ancestors.
This gave me a way to compete with my younger brother, the smartest kid in the school, county, possibly the country. Like Brian –or Brain as we called him– I could get perfect scores in English grammar, and later in French and German.
I was also better than my brother at talking. Painfully shy, he would hide in the car when we visited friends. But me, I loved to be the center of attention, chattering incessantly, showing off my ballet twirls.
I also knew I was a better writer, though I saved my best for private diaries and fantasies. Back then, girls couldn’t look too smart.
At university, I stopped my foreign languages studies when I realized how tedious the labs were, long lonely hours answering boring questions and repeating phrases into an eight-track tape recorder.
Also in first year, a history prof loved my debut essay because I analyzed instead of just repeating the chronology. As my new major, however, I chose philosophy because it gave me more time for fun. And it taught me to think.
But I got tired of sliding into hot pants in order to earn a living as a cocktail waitress. I still loved writing. So I took a graduate degree in journalism.
After a brief stint as a reporter, with hours no better than working in bars, I ended up in corporate communication. I loved being at the center of the action, advising executives and politicians on what to say, and helping employees, customers and other people make sense of their rapidly changing world.
I also enjoyed fixing my colleagues’ writing. Just as I had no recollection of the periodic table of elements, most of them simply did not remember those grammar rules. They didn’t know how to use different structures for different goals. Worse still, they had been brainwashed by teachers, professors and bosses into believing reading and writing should be long, formal and never, ever social.
But well before Comment, Like and Follow, I knew that writing to persuade readers and listeners to respond in a certain way was ultimately a social activity. Preparing speeches and scripts confirmed the power of writing like you talk. Why didn’t they get it?
Just when I thought I’d scream if I had to read one more flat, rambling memo along came the bloggers and other social media people. Many wrote like they talked. They call it a conversation. Finally I could combine my love of grammar, writing, talking, socializing and thinking. I had found my tribe.
My flame reignited, I wrote my book, first as posts on my blog and later as an ebook I sold on my site.
I gave presentations and taught some workshops based on my philosophy of combining the sociability of talking with the thinking of writing. I listened to what readers and other people had to say. I thought. I read. I rewrote the book.
So here I am, one step closer to fulfilling my potential.
I know that some of you are not following your dreams because you haven’t had the training, mentoring or experience to help you connect with people through the written word.
In a world where people communicate so much online, where they need to stand out to be heard, writing is a means to many ends. Connecting to other people this way can help you look in the mirror and say “Wow!”
So thanks to the bicycle thief for leading me to three pieces of advice for rewriting stories:
1. Lead with the conflict.
2. Identify immediately with your ideal reader.
3. Get rid of anything that doesn’t move your plot, develop your characters or make your point.
But will I still love it tomorrow?
Thanks to Chris Devers for the photo.
You know what it’s like to have a song stuck in your head? What if you could create those kinds of ear worms with your writing? People would be unable to stop thinking about you.
Okay, perhaps that’s a little extreme, but I think it’s worthwhile to take a closer look. Let’s see how this ultimate stickiness works and how you can apply it to more mundane communication.
A while back, I read a book by musician turned neuroscientist Daniel Levitin called This is Your Brain on Music. I am fascinated by what scientists are learning about the brain and how it affects how we think, feel and act.
According to Professor Levitin, the songs that get stuck usually have a hook that grabs us, emotions that hold us and rhythm that gets us moving.
Hooks grab us
The hook has to be simple enough to easily grasp but not so simple it blends into the background. This hook repeats, varies and returns. The lyrics have to touch deep emotions. And the rhythm should induce a physical response, such as swaying or clapping.
Repetition is, of course, the classic memory-enhancing technique. On its own, repetition becomes boring. But repetition becomes supercharged when the theme varies.
Consider Beethoven’s Fifth, possibly the stickiest piece of classical music ever. It starts with the hook: “Da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-DUM.”
This hook repeats, then varies in note and rhythm. 
After branching into some new themes, the symphony returns to the hook.
Emotions hold us
A great example of the emotional resonance of sticky songs is Adele’s CD 21, this summer’s biggest international hit. All the songs are about a romantic breakup, achy and sad.
One of 21‘s hits, Someone Like You, has been number one around our house because my daughter sings it so well, accompanying herself on the piano.
Few things are sadder than a breakup when you’re the age of Adele or my daughter. And even though it’s been many years since my heart has been broken, I can remember the pain. I’ll bet you can too.
Adele also uses the technique of repeated hook and variation. In Someone Like You, the title phrase is repeated again and again. But what struck me when I paid more attention to the lyrics, which are muffled when my daughter is singing one floor below, is how “Someone” melts into “Sometimes,” for the punch-in-the-gut climax ”Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.”
Rhythm move us
As I noted earlier, sticky songs usually have a rhythm that induces a physical response. Think about people spontaneously playing air guitar to a driving rock songs, pretending to conduct a symphony orchestra or bursting into tears about lost love.
But prompting actions through rhythm is much more difficult than applying a hook and emotional resonanc.
Written repetition is a time-tested technique. Twist it and you have magic, as in “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind,” or, recently, Norwegian Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg on rampage that killed 77 people: “Evil can kill a person, but it cannot conquer a people.”
In fact, listen to any politician who is adept at sound bites and you’ll hear examples of a hook with a twist.
Sweet and sticky
Most people understand the importance of emotional resonanc in writing. The classic children’s tale Goldilocks and the Three Bears wasn’t that popular when it debuted because the protagonist was a snoopy old lady. But when it was rewritten as a tale about an innocent child parents cared and children identified.
That’s why you need to get under the skin of the people you are writing for, making sure you address what keeps them up at night or what get them going in the morning. That’s how you connect, attract like-minded people and build community.
Motivating action through rhythm is more difficult because written words lack most of the auditory impact of music. But not all.
Think of words like squish, swoosh and thump. Think of how sound bites live on in written words. Think of the novelist whose rhythmic style embraces you so tightly you can’t put down the book. Note that you heard “Da-da-da-da” and maybe clicked on Adele’s link.
I’ve heard many speakers who have tried, with varying degress of success, to conjure some of the magic of sound by getting the audience to clap or shout.
Write like you talk
That works only if you’re writing for an audience, not if you’re writing for readers. But you can adapt some of the stickiness of sound by writing like you talk. Please share in the comments your ideas for applying the magic of sound to words that will be read.
You might not be as sticky as those songs that get stuck in your head. But if you pay more attention to repetition and variation, emotional connection and the rhythm of speech, you’ll have much better chance of becoming a hit.
The following post comes from a draft for the new introduction to the second edition of my book, Write like you talk–only better. Do you recognize yourself or people you know in any of the scenarios?
Provide me with feedback and I’ll send you a free copy as soon as it’s ready.
You write.
For you, maybe it’s emails, tweets and collaborations at work; Facebook. texts and instant messaging the rest of the time. Whatever your media, chances are you write a lot.
If you belong to the digital generation, you probably take it for granted that much of your communication is written, not spoken. You probably use your cell phone more for texting than talking– that is, when they’re not writing/chatting on Facebook or online communities.
My parents and their parents wrote a lot too, with letters to far-flung relatives and memos to confirm business agreements. But they didn’t write nearly as much as most people with computers do today.
Despite how important your writing is, it may not accomplish what you want.
Perhaps people aren’t showing up prepared for your meetings. They aren’t grabbing onto your ideas. They aren’t buying your products. They aren’t voting for you. They aren’t telling their friends. Or some other result that’s important to you.
Maybe you recognize yourself in some of these scenarios:
Lauren loves writing. Too bad she doesn’t show the love to her readers by thinking about their interests, terminology and time. That’s why her love is so often unrequited.
Cecil thinks he shows respect and a business-appropriate demeanor by peppering his emails with hollow formalities such as “as per your request” and “warmest regards.” But people don’t warm up to him.
Mel is so used to writing/chatting spontaneously online that she neglects all the planning, improving, tightening and other thinking that would her essays and work reports worth reading. What a waste of her potential.
Joe produces large reports, but few people remember what’s in them. Or who Joe is.
Diane, who spent many years churning out essays and papers, uses long words and sentences, many pages and lots of capital letters. Despite her obvious brains, she has not achieved her dream of becoming a thought leader.
Asif relies so heavily on spell check to find his mistakes that he often confuses sound-alike words, especially it’s and its. This makes some people think he’s stupid and confuses others. Too bad, because he deserves a better job.
Scott churns out number-filled reports about how well his sales team is doing. After all, he’s busy and it’s not a movie script. So why aren’t the executives giving him the credit he craves?
I could go on with more examples of people failing to meet their objectives because their writing skills need updating, I’ll bet many of you can see yourself somewhere.
Don’t blame your readers for not taking the time or being smart enough to get you. Don’t fall for those no-work internet success pitches. Take responsibility.
Like the amateur handy man whose house falls down because she doesn’t have the right carpentry skills, maybe your writing falls flat because you haven’t learned your trade. Or maybe you’re following stale rules that no longer work in our web 2.0 world.
Writing is a skill you need to achieve your results. Fortunately, it’s not magic. With the guidance and practice, you can improve.
So come back here, as I continue to excerpt the new edition of Write like you talk–only better. Buy the current ebook, which contains the same fundamental advice. If you’re in the Greater Toronto Area, sign up for a workshop. Or wait for the new book, which will also be available in print and for e-readers. People who provide feedback will receive free advance copies.
Don’t miss out on this opportunity to learn how to achieve the results you deserve.
So I can cover your situation, please tell me: What results could sharper writing skills help you achieve?
Because most people are so busy, I’ve pulled out the two most popular modules from my one-day workshop and turned each of them into two-hour live workshop for employees in the Greater Toronto Area. They address the two biggest priorities for most people who write at work: (1) how to say more in fewer words and (2) how to connect with their readers.
Write tight
Just as your favorite jeans have to fit perfectly, so does your writing need to show off your expertise in the most flattering and comfortable way.
With the character limits of Twitter and other social media, writing tightly is becoming more of a requirement and less of a choice.
What’s more, the vast volume of email most people read and write daily makes writing tightly a productivity priority. If your email, report or anything else is too long, people won’t read through it, let alone remember. They won’t click on links. They won’t engage.
But feed them a tasty information snack and they may well come back for the feast.
In the workshop, I’ll show you how to plan what you’re going to write so you can use just enough words to meet your objectives. I’ll show you how to trim the fat from what you’ve written. And we’ll put this into practice, tightening some examples until they fit like your favorite jeans.
For groups up to 20 people. Cost: $500
For more information, contact me at barb@stickycommunication.ca.
From mouth to mouse
To truly engage your readers, you need to write like you’re having a live conversation with them. This way, you’ll also attract like-minded people. Soon you’ll be building an enthusiatic tribe.
Before you start writing, you need to think about the person you most want to connect with, real or imagined, and figure out what gets them up in the morning and what keeps them up at night.
You should also think about how to convey in writing your personality or the personality of the person or organization you’re writing for. Then the conversation can begin.
In addition to walking you through this process, I’ll provide some tips on how to write in a more conversational style. You’ll practice writing this way, with some participants sharing their work so everyone can learn from each other.
For groups up to 20 people. Cost: $500
For more information, contact me at barb@stickycommunication.ca.
Photo credit: Evil Erin
A few months ago, I heard Don Tapscott talk about his new book, Macrowikinomics. I’m using it in my talk to IABC this Tuesday evening, so I’d better practice this tongue twister title. You try it.
Don compared the changes our society is going through to the introduction of the printing press. In mediaeval times, monks spent decades copying the bible by hand. Then along came Gutenberg.
Priests were up at night worrying about losing control as more people could read and interpret the Bible. Kings lost sleep fretting about losing control now that people could understand more about their world.
These days, as Don said, the revolution involves people connecting with each other through social media. Hosni Burak and other politicial leaders have found out what that can lead to. No wonder some of our business leaders and bosses are losing sleep over the erosion of their control.
The revolution should play out well for professional communicators like me. After all, we are experts at connecting people.
Still, I’m losing sleep. Where will I find the energy to keep climbing those learning curves? How will I make my online friendships tighter? How will I keep up with all the new demands on my time?
Fortunately, I love learning and people and the work I do. And I’m comfortable writing like I talk.
I will figure out the rest.
I will welcome the new day.
I always advise people to have a fantasy person in mind when they write. Not just some superficial demographic, but an individual composite of the people they’re writing for or a fantasy person they’d love to connect with. In Write like you talk–only better, I urge people to dig deep into their ideal reader’s head.
Think about what gets your fictional friend up in the morning and what keeps her up at night. If you have trouble pretending you’re talking to this person as you write, I recommend you draw a picture or cut one out of a magazine and tape it beside your monitor.
My ideal reader
When I wrote the book, I pictured an ideal reader who grasps how to communicate clearly, demonstrated by a love of talking to individuals and groups. But he would not have shared my training and mentoring in writing. She would not have heard the angels sing the first time he diagrammed a sentence.
Actually, my ideal reader was a guy, partly because men need the help due to their poor showing on language tests, partly because it’s more fun to fantasize about men. Often I pretend I’m writing to George Clooney.
What drives George
Why does George get up in the morning? He can’t wait to act, speed his boat across Lake Como or champion human rights in Darfur.
What keeps him awake at night? The fear that he doesn’t intellectually measure up to his father, a respected journalist, and the terror of intimacy, masked by all this celebrityzing, globe trotting and other antics. Don’t get upset if I’ve touched a raw nerve, George. It’s only a fantasy.
When I write for George, I talk about writing as a performance, how writing freely can be as thrilling as driving, or boating, or the moral goodness of writing to connect people and help us understand each other. To exorcise his demons, I tell him how he can demonstrate his expertise and commitment through the written word, just like Dad, and cozy up to readers.
George, meet Christina
I realized how well this works this week when I was talking to client Christina about her ideal reader. George, you would like her. Instead of child soliders and refugees, she stands up for the mentally ill, also a misunderstood and neglected group.
Like you, she loves to perform. Like you, she’s won awards, in her case for talks to high school students.
She started her career as a mental health case manager. Like most of the professionals in her field, she’s over-worked and underpaid. But she couldn’t imagine doing anything else.
Based on her success on the speaking circuit and ease with conversation, the association Christina works for asked her to produce their annual report. And like most of us non-celebrities who don’t have an entourage, she spends way too much of her day writing emails and other routine communication.
Talk to Susie
So we invented Susie, the case manager. Susie bounds out of bed in the morning, energized about helping people with psychiatric illnesses. Susie wishes more people understood that the mentally ill are humans too, with as much right to food and dignity as your war victims.
Unfortunately, Susie is often tired, having lost sleep to worries about people in deep distress, her heavy case load and the growing mountain of emails that awaits.
Susie is just too busy, and too eager to get out on her calls, to read Christina’s long email detailing her needs for the annual report. From the little she reads, Susie doesn’t get that this email is actually about their shared passion for helping more people understand their clients. Susie reads only as far as words like “request” and the other formal terms Christina thinks she has to use in her business correspondence.
Christina realized she needed to send occasional quick emails to Susie, tapping into their shared passion before she leaves the office to visit her clients. When Susie has an especially moving moment with a client, that she’s dying to share, she’ll tell Christina.
Appeal to Tom
We also took a look at the previous year’s annual report, in particular the message of the executive director, a visionary woman Christine respects immensely. Who would her ideal reader be?
From the long list of stakeholders, she honed in on the CEO of a local acute care hospital, who regards them as “those drop-in center people.” Tom, as we called him, rises at the crack of dawn, thrilled to be working with highly educated professionals to save lives and make a difference in his struggling community. Often he’s up at night, worrying about he’s going to reduce the wait times in his emergency room.
So Christina and the executive director need to impress Tom with shared expertise and commitment. They need to convince him that a stronger partnership would enable the association to provide the right kind of care for some of the people who would otherwise be heading for emergency.
Christina left with a clearer idea of who she’s writing for and how to approach them. By pretending to converse with them, she knows she’s going to enjoy the writing so much more. After all, Christina loves to talk.
Writers’ GPS
George, I realize you haven’t heard about my book. I’ll have to publicize it more, when it comes out, soon, in print and e-reader format. In the meantime, you can buy it here.
Then again, maybe you’ll never read it. Maybe asking for writing help is like asking for directions when you’re lost in the boat, or car. It’s a guy thing.
But even with all your money, you’ll never be able to buy a writer’s GPS. Think about that the next time sleep won’t come. Or the next time you prepare to plead for the people of Darfur.