Sticky Communication

I know I should be quoting some great Canadian because it’s Canada Day. But all that comes to mind is John F. Kennedy, whose political views could have passed for Canadian, who said: “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.”

I find this quote fitting today because I have done something for my country  today. No, I have not enlisted for Afghanistan or bought fire works for children.

What’s scarier than taxes?

I have programmed my HST, the harmonized sales tax we in Ontario are now paying. I know I should blame Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty. But I understand that the pressure came from Prime Minister Stephen Harper

It was so easy that I am embarrassed to admit how frightened I was. Much the same way I am terrified when asked to add up my monthly office costs for my income taxes. Much as I procrastinate over calculating the tax the HST replaces, the GST or goods and services tax.

Calculating them

My fear was compounded by the need to input amounts that vary by province into my Paypal account, a new and once-terrifying unknown beast who turned out to be a rather docile kitten.

I can’t blame childhood trauma or DNA deficiency for this irrational fear. I grew up watching my father, a  chartered accountant who was a silver medalist in his graduating year, and my brother, a  national math contest finalist, solving math puzzles. For fun. Seriously. Long-time Globe and Mail readers will recall Fun with Figures. Today, they are big on Sudoko.

Not from DNA

Even though I don’t share this interest, I am not totally without math skills. I am usually quick at roughly calculating individual shares when confronted with a multi-person restaurant bill. However, it’s not accurate to the penny, a math style that  irritates accountants, tax people and other anal types.

Math skills also came in handy when I paid for much of my university as a cocktail waitress back in the days when we had to figure out bills in our head.

I still wake up from nightmares of adding up three domestic beers, two Heinken (the only imported  then), one Singapore Sling (a sugary tall pink drink once popular with the ladies), one Harvey Wallbanger, two premium shots of Scotch and one regular rye. Fortunately, partyers don’t quibble over inconsequential arithmetic fumbles. As long as there’s enough for the next round, it all adds up.

Maybe this is where the math phobia began. At least I’m no longer  forced to perform  calculations while wearing hot pants, high heels and full makeup.

The propaganda machine

Like most people in Ontario, I’m pissed about having to charge and pay HST. Our government actually ran a taxpayer-supported propaganda campaign to explain why we would actually enjoy higher taxes.

Only the actors on the TV commercial seems to have bought it. But what could we do? The provincial opposition party is in the same camp as Stephen Harper, so its provincial members just mumbled a few words of discontent. We could have protested at the G20 summit, I suppose, but then we might have ended up in jail. No thanks.

I guess most of us passively accept higher taxes because we love having a healthcare system that turns no one away. And we are proud of having healthy banks and a relatively low government deficit.

Yes, we’re pissed about the cost of the G8 and G20 summits, government television commercials and much more. But not pissed enough to do much about it.

Oh, Canada. The only fireworks are in the sky.