Sticky Communication

Every year, I make resolutions. A few hit the target almost immediately. Some drop like a stone by February. Others glide along the surface of my year.

This year’s theme seems to be connecting with people. Since  my mother died in December, I’ve felt alone. I know that I may soon  lose my frail 86-year-old father and have started to accept that I’m estranged, for now anyway, from some family members.

Thank goodness, I have my daughter, dog and friends. They seem to know when to gather close and when to let me get lost in books, movies and mourning.

After such a crappy month, and a rest, I’m eager to sprint into 2013. To get me started, here are some resolutions.

Lose weight. Like many people, this is a perennial favorite. But this year, I’m going to join Weight Watchers. Trying to do this on my own is why I have failed to make good on past resolutions.

Exercise more. I stopped going to the gym last fall when  the family drama sucked up my spare time. Because I love groups far more than solo workouts, and get inspired by music, I’m going back to the classes at my local community center. I’ll reconnect with old acquaintances and spend more time with neighbors I enjoy.

More music. My old sound system died in December. So I’m buying a new one that will accommodate new technologies without sacrificing quality. I’ll be dancing new year’s eve. And maybe I’ll stop talking about playing piano again and actually practice.

Get rid of the anger. Although I may pretend I’m attacking certain people during kick boxing class, I will have to let go of the anger that has sapped my energy and intelligence. Anger, I understand, is part of mourning. But the cone  that has surrounded me is making me stupid and keeping out the people who matter.

Meditate. When I find that quiet place within, I gain insight and peace. I feel connected to the universe. Because of the anger, I’ve had trouble getting there.  To help, I’m going to learn a new technique. With a new friend.

Help other people. From experience, I know the best way to transcend inner turmoil is to focus on people whose problems are bigger than mine. Already I’ve  made a new volunteer commitment. I know lots of opportunities will present themselves. These will stop me from thinking so much about poor me.

Sell Write Like You Talk Only Better. I wrote this book and soon-to-be-launched online learning series, in order to share this valuable skill and to prove I could do more than write snappy features on the new system or other flavor of the month. But I have been afraid of the marketing, especially reaching out to new people, like corporate trainers and small business owners. So this year, I will connect with these and other new people.

Laugh more. Maybe I’ll start by making fun of the people I’m pissed off with. Hey, it’s a start.

Learn, learn, learn. I started podcasting this year, though I have plenty to learn. I want to get into video too. Fortunately, my daughter is a student in the acclaimed radio and television program at Ryerson University.  I will keep shadowing her. She suggested I put another desk in my office so we could write together. So when I cleared out the old family home, I took the desk that once belonged to me.

I’ll set it up this weekend, so I’m ready for the new year. While I’m listening to my new sound system. Oughta burn a few calories too. I’m feeling good about 2013.

I don’t know which resolutions will hit the mark, sink or glide along. But I’m ready to try. That’s how everything begins.

What are yours?

Happy new year.

Thanks for the image.

1. Sarah says:

   December 31, 2012 at 2:39 pm

   Barb,

   I’m sorry about your family – just know that you’re not alone. It’s natural to feel angry, hurt and cynical, and once you start feeling that way it’s hard to stop letting those feelings get in the way of your life. Your positive and hopeful outlook has given me hope too, so thank you for this nice post, and for a great year of communication inspiration
2. Barbsawyers says:

   January 4, 2013 at 12:57 pm

   Thanks Sarah. I took some time off and buried my head in great novels. Now I’m eager to get my head back into work. No room for anger.
3. Cyrus Mavalwala says:

   January 9, 2013 at 2:40 pm

   Barb,

   I’m sorry to hear about your loss. By reading your salient points it sounds like you’re headed down a healthy road that will only lead to happiness.

   I think we should all follow your steps for a happy and successful 2013.

   Wishing you and your family…and your dog….the very best.

   Cyrus